Voting

As all of you know , it was voting day, yesterday. And yes we got out to vote. I have not always voted. At 18 I always felt to shy and not smart enough to vote. So, it wasn't until I was 35. For some reason , I for go the embarrassment of going into the school , that I was told to go to on my voting card. I would stand in a long line. with many people and over hear comments on how some saw life and how it should be ran. I just stood there , to shy to say anything, And since I knew people could be right down mean, I kept to myself. my opinion This first time I speak of ,was one of the presidential moments, It was from the many times my mother would encourage me. She had no idea how the fear grew when just by the thought of being around strangers made me sweat. I didn't know how to vote. Yeah, sure there were people there to help. I mean that is why they volunteer their time , help those that had no glue what , or how voting worked. But when you believe that you're not smart enough to work a little plastic pencil like thingy. to punch in your vote. you tend to avoid going. And the truth, I never paid that much attention who was running, there were times too that voting on new amendments seemed long and unbelievable winded. If I already didn't think I was smart. reading an amendment sure gave me confirmation I wasn't it took a lawyer to understand them . So , I just placed that little plastic pencil like thing over the first little hole and voted.I would learn that every election I would need to get out to vote. Not just for president but mayor and governor and voting on raising taxes , since now I was a home owner. I was going to make sure my voice was heard. I sure had grown since that shy young person first walked into that school. Now, I had moved away from what I was use to. I assumed that it was the same here in Tennessee as it was in Michigan when it came to voting. ( ONE SHOULD NEVER ASSUME!) We , my husband and I did get sign up for our voting card when we first moved here. but it told us nothing as to where we had to go. Was it in town, was it a school!!? We almost gave up and decided to for go voting. But I deep down did not want to do that. I knew who was running. And truth, anymore there isn't good choices, but I wasn't going to let somethings just pass by. there were admemdments that I wanted to vote on. It wasn't until the very last minute and from a call from a stranger that we would find out right where to go to vote. Yes, we live in Hickman county. but we live in cobble. An area that they name to section off since Hickman is so large . So, we cleaned up. Hopped into the truck and off we went. It was at this little country store , where we had to vote at. Walking into the store , the porch was made of wood , the floor of the store also wood. This store was old country , I loved the sound of it. and There were no lines. oh, there were people there to vote , two actually. But nothing what I was use too. And it seemed everyone knew someone who would walk in after us. The sweet older woman took our names told us what we needed to do. The only differences , was the voting machines. They would be my first very voting on such High tech! The volunteers made sure we understood how it worked and what we had to do once we were all done . It was nothing for me to feel my age! What happened to the paper ballet ????? I also have become more out spoken, it was nothing for me to open the door to this store and say hello! Just as if I knew everyone there. Time , Age and believing in yourself sure makes the difference. I wonder how many people out there , who believe they aren't smart enough to make a choice. to vote? There was one candidate here that , it was the way he talked through his nose that made him not get my vote. Now, when you think about it ,to judge a person on the way they talk ,through their nose , just doesn't seem fair. I just see him in front all those other Senators , talking and having to listen to him explain. I know it got on my nerve , All those TV adds! made me want to put a sock in it ! Well , I sure hope that some of you got out to vote , To teach your children the worth of their voice. no matter how little or how much it seems it doesn't get heard, Because I know for myself, If hadn't been for my mothers encouragement to vote. I would have never saw my first Paper ballet!

Mammogram

Today was my very early appointment for my Mammogram and the Pelvic test. Eight O'clock in the early morning. As I was told I had to drink 32oz cup of water an hour before my appointment for the pelvic . What they failed to tell me was that this test wouldn't be done until 8:30. Since I had no idea that this was to happen, I set off into town, A lovely ride, down right freezen, with now an uncomfotable bladder, I did a few errands before getting to the hospital , where this would all take place, I stopped to get the two pack of cigarettes, which was for my husband and drop off mail that I had written early that morning. I was still early for my appointment, it was only 7:20 by the clock in the truck. Now my bladder was really telling me it was time to get my ass to the restroom and let things out!, I thought if I was just a little early I could be seen earlier. Little did it know that I still had almost an hour to get in for that test, and that My breast were the first up for the morning work out. This little hospital sits way out,up on a hill , if it wasn't for the one sign that tells you to turn on swan street, you wouldn't know we had one. So, I sat listen to the radio , looking st anything that would keep my mind off my bladder. In fact the office of this hospital wouldn't be open until 7:30 , and as I have found out no one is in a rush here. So, I moessy out of the truck about 7:32 thinking I wouldn't be too early, right on time is what my bladder thought, As I reached the last door into the hospital, timming was everything. The lady had just unlocked the window to the main office. I was truly the first one in line.Hell, I was the only one ! She had me go around to the side door that would bring me into the office area where she would jot down all my info. Oh!I was in egony, I never wiggled , rocked in all my life as I did as she asked all the questions she asked. I felt as I was about to tear up. I also worried that maybe I didn't have enough water in my bladder for this test. As I mentioned this to the lady , She pointed at the water fountian in the hall way, where I could refill up my 32oz McDonald cup . I decided I would only put a tad in it to melt the ice that was left in the bottom.She told me I had to walk to the end of the hall to the left to Xray. With each step I felt as if I was going to let the flood gates up and all would ran out. I made the turn. Looking for Xray , it seemed as I couldn't find the darn thing, if it wasn't for seeing the new doctor ( Dr.Hutchens) coming down the hall towards me . He looked at me, I was surprise he recognized me. He pointed to a door, I don't think I would have ever found it. And trust me when I tell you , this hospital isn't that big, I think the water from my bladder had reached my eyes, Since that door seemed to be right in front of me, With that, I handed my papers to the lovely lady sitting there, she tells me that I can have a sit in the waiting room. OH MY GOD ! where was that ?, it turned out I had seen one on the way there, So I went back, Still under the notion that I would soon be seen, and it would be the pelvic exame first. It was about 7:50 , I paced. I watched tv , I ate M&M candies out of the lion club candy machine. Now I was looking for a clock , it had to be a least 8 , maybe they forgot about me. So, I walked back, I asked this lady when was I up for these tests ?. this is when I would learn that I would have my mammogram first and the pelvic later. Now I wanted to cry , I foolishly believe I needed more water !?. To make sure that my bladder was full and now , I was really hurting, I tell this all to the lovely lady sitting behind a desk. She would say, that if I wanted to let a little out that it would be just fine.Have you ever try to just pee a little!? There is no way anyone can just let a few drops out with a bladder beyond full . Without letting it all go~. She told me that the reason for the delay was that tech for the mammogram helped her with a problem and for that was the reason it was taken a little longer, but she would be with me soon . So. I went back to what I thought, at the time was the waiting room. The reason I tell you this is , that later after leaving there.I would see a waiting room marked clinic ,a waiting room which I assume was the one the lady was refering too .So,finally the tech came and got me. as I make my way to this very small room marked mamegraphy. And trust me it was small! It was also very cold. I doubt it had any heat.within this room I was then taken to a very very small bathroom. where I was take off my blouse, which I did. ICE COLD! . it took everything I could to keep from wetting myself. All of this the tech knew.She would take my breast and lay it out on the plate, which felt like an ice cube. Pressing and lifting each breast all the while trying to keep from wetting myself. Now, all is done. This tech would see if the other tech was finally in , since she actually didn't start work until 8:30. ( for the pelvic). My God.! you mean I could even sit longer if this woman decided to be late!!!!!!!! Another woman came in , she would be that teach.Now I had to walk from this little room. To the other, where this test was to be held. In a small hospital grown, and without realizing it . I would walk hafe open, down a hall where a man would be sitting. but at that time that didn't even cross my mind because my bladder was,then the possible embrassment of this man seeing my breast. She pressed and polked. Making the remark that my bladder was indeed full. WELL YEAH! When all is done I was to walk back to the other room in which I had left , I had to make sure the mamograms came out without a mistake. At that time I could let the flood gates open and let go the waters!I sat there in the hospital grown , waiting , waiting for this woman to return,just so she could tell me they were fine and I could go home . In the end . When this lady finally return , she had assume I had gone since she didn't see me. Assumeing the other tech gave me the go ahead to leave. Not knowing I had gone into the very small bathroom to empty my bladder ,which by the way took a very long time to empty . In the end , what I thought may happen happened .Where I should find out more about tests and which one would be first , So I can better time it all ! Lets just hope there isn't going to be another :) Ahh, county life . Don't you just love it !

Fred the my stick bug

I would like for you to meet my new friend! He was found on the side of the house. My first stick bug. my very own, Now, how lucky could I get!? I don't remember ever seeing one of these back in Michigan , Nature sometimes just wasn't something I looked for, after a long day at work. And if it did make me stop in my tracks . Then I figure it was Gods way to make me slow down. But here , Time is all I have and the wonder of life is something I marvel at. At the time .I didn't take a picture of our friend the bat , which was hanging under our porch. I of course was ready to get the broom and shush it off . Put it was pointed out to me that this bat would eat the over amount of moths that seem to harbor under our porch light. He to was a sight I never seen before. I heard many talk about bats but never actually seen one. And this one was up close. It was with in minutes or maybe seconds that the bat was gone . Just as our stick bug was. As Hubby and I started our day off to the appointment set for the V.A. hospital.This is country. The many moments like this. Once I decided to clean out the shed. This meant the many Totes that we had. I was going to have a yard sale , and I wanted to see what items I was going to let go . How these little critters got into our totes was beyound my logic mind. But within three of these totes field mice had found thier way in . Two of them had lost their life, taking that hidden hole in which they inntered. number three In fact one was still alive. In which I had to ask it to leave. It didn't take much for it to up and ran. I would see it peaking around the wooden beams . I also came across a mother and her many babies in the barn. I was there to get the rider mower . She took off so fast that one of the little ones fall in the path of the mower's wheels . Luckly I had my garden gloves. I picked it , or was that? pushed it away from the wheel. what ever it was, I didn't want to kill it. Living here is something to exprience. I have even seen the many trutles walking across our highway. And I mean watched them, as I prayed that no one hit it, hurrying it across with my silent wish, That it make it across without a tire rolling over it. I thought of stopping , but with my husband reminding me that it could be a snapping trutle, I have yet to be brave enough to do just that . In fact the deer are coming out. One was spotted across our pasture. This one was the closet yet to our land. My lisit of what I have exprienced here, Has grown. I learned of ticks. I have seen large snakes, that I would have never seen in the city. I have seen the most beautiful birds. Not just the standard Blue jays. or the robins. I have seen Goldfinches, Black-capped Chichadee's oh and the cardinals . I believe we have a nest of the pair . There has been the Eastern Bluebird and then there are the humming birds. With all of this nature. one could very well be overwhelmed with it. Yet, I do enjoy it. I have learned to get the camera, and hope its still there on the way back to it. I hope one day that I can share this with my visiting family. So, I would like for you to MEET MY STICK BUG.

Finding out there are good loving people in the Tennessee

It all started that day I had to go to town, I was ready to use that truck to get out got a while. So, with Lucy behind me, ( knowing I wasn't going to be gone long.) Her and I were off for one of my journey's .
Ah, how the ride felt, the wind in the face, all the truck windows open, and the ride was lovely, My rides into town are always the same. The road, the country side , yet I never get bored, the open fields ,the smells and sounds are just so grand, This is what I had always dreamt of. Turning onto the road that would take us into the square , of which you would pass the famous Minnie Pearl statue . Stll heading for that Save- a-lot store. Finally there, the store seemed to be full . Out I got , while Lucy stayed behind . Once in the store , there wasn't much I had to really get , it wasn't like I was shopping for the month , just milk and soda. I returned to see poor Lucy panting, and with her eyes fixed on me, in I get, put the key in, and nothing, the sound is that its not getting something to kick it over, the battery is good, I mean I would have heard nothing if that was the case. Now the prayers, I start praying , almost begging that God would turn over the enegine so Lucy and I can just make it home. As I give it one more turn , I start looking about the parking lot, at each and every person, some old , young and they came and go leaving me .Not noticing me ,so I think. I give it another try by now it is obeviouse that we aren't going anyway. I start looking for a pay phone, Do you realize since the cell phones , there isn't one pay phone to be had. Now what am I going to do? and besides what Is my husband going to do? This is the only vehical we own, and he's home and I am miles away from our house. walking wouldn't be just around the corner. So, back into the store I go. I ask the one of the cashiers if she might know where a pay phone would be that I could use to call home. She turns to one of the other ladies there to ask her. In all. they would end up letting me use the store phone to call home.

Dealing , ringing, The husband is on the computer. we had just gone from DSL to dail up for the computer., I can't reach him. Yet I knew , that if I got him , what could he have done? Just maybe tell me what to do, where to go. Should I walk to his friends house. ( Jim) or where ?

So, I walk back to the truck where Lucy and the few items I bought wait for me. Once again I start my prayers, to even begging for this time the truck would turn over and I would be able to get it home. Behind the wheel I sat. putting the key in, telling Lucy to hope this would be the time it would finally give us what we needed to get home. It didn't. again start to look over the people coming and going into the parking lot, wonding who would give of thier time and help. Not once getting up and taking the effort to ask. I tried the key again. Finally, a nice caring man stopped and asked if I needed help. Here it was the answer to my prayer. Sure it wasn't that truck had started, but that I was getting help. This man had been taking his mother round, doing her errands. Doctor , shopping . He got out. started to look under the hood , tapped on this or that, opened a cap from one thing to another. And still tha truck wouldn't start. He would tell me , he believe it was the fuel pump, the enegine wasn't getting any gas. With that, He asked if he could take me home. I said yes, and asked if he didn't mind taking my dog with me. For I had just given her a bath that day. His mother said sure. with a smile and in the back seat I sat with Lucy. I was so grateful for these lovely people. I never thought twice about getting in the car with them, or that they were black. I never saw color nor fear that they would do anything to me. I asked if they were taking me out of thier way, they said no. I wonder how much of that was true . I ended up talking so much that I never got thier name nor did I tell them mine. They pulled up in the drive and lot me and Lucy out. I would wonder later if I should have offered them to come in to my house or evern to drive me up into the drive anymorethen where they had let me out . I just felt I had already took to much of their kindness and didn't want to impose anymore. Lucy and I were home. So was the milk and soda. Now it would be how was it we were going to get back to the truck,. With no family here. we would have to find someone. And we did. My husband's friend Jim. This man would prove to be a angel with wings, and a forgiven one at that.

It was in this moment that I had realized that moving so far away , with no family to call apon. I would find the family of God. People I didn't know giving me a hand at a time I only saw desiper. For all those prayers of wanting the truck to start , I ended up getting the next best thing. For God did answer. I am so grateful for everything in my life. And I do trust that I will get what I need when God sees to when and how I shall get it.

Southern Bell , trip to town

Yesterdays trip to town was an enjoyment , Getting out of the house is a lovely thing, We had things to do, a nice short list, we needed to make a stop at the insurance place, stop and get a comprressor and then we were to stop at the new restaurant in town ,"The SOUTHERN BELL" It had just opened up last Tuesday and the parking lot had been full for the few times we had made any trips to town, And now we were to expreince this wonderful place. The building had been empty since we both moved down here , and often my husband and I thought we would have liked to open such a place our self, wishes, a dream., never making an effort to take a step towards it, believeing we had not the funds nor talents to open up our own restaurant. And so I like to think , this was meant to be, I mean as we sat down to order our meal, the place we lovely , and well kept , and our meal, Husband had the breakfast, as I had "it was closer to noon ", had the luncheon special, the roast beef, it melt in my mouth, even though I would have wanted it to come to the table a lot hotter then it was, in all we both felt this place was meant to be here, I am not saying that we couldn't have down the same thing , cooking up get things like they had, just that we couldn't make up our mind about it , and I do believe they were meant to have or be there then it was for us to start one. So our day out was a grand one, returning home to start mowing the long grass, and the husband to figure out the very hard labor to the down running rider mower, He is so furstared that he can't get it to work after replacing the part that needed to be replace, The blades seem to be to low to the ground, and after reading the manual he still can't get them balanced, In the end we are both thinking that maybe we can find someone to do it for us , Yet with money as tight as it is we both work at doing it our self, So I set out to mow the lawn with the push mower, oh what a chore,With Asthma as bad as it is, and his back, I push myself to get the whole yard done yesterday, taking many breaks, realizing I am no longer a young woman, And he realizing how much of a partner and wife I am , He tells me, " he knows of no woman to do what I do " and I can sense he feels less of a man so how , I tell him, that we balance out , Gods plan , He works on the rider mower, KNOWING I COULD NEVER FIGURE OUT THAT ! and I to push the lawn mower until it is , He tries , and I can see his back pain, and I would rather I do that then see him sufffer, THat is love, THAt is GOd so what more is there to say, But I can't wait to have company to take them to the SOUTHERN BELL, Just so they could enjoy a grand meal. I just hope by the time I have company , It will still taste as good, Moving here, I have found not just good cooking, but I have found spiriual meaning in everything we both do, My path is well lite and I am set to exprience more,

An up date of the dogs, First I must say , I am always in Awe when prayers are answered, I was deeply trouble over the outside dogs where living. We tried to care for them , only to fail in being a responable person. I would pray and pray , asking God to send me help or just to past this feeling of failing as a human being who wanted be a responable person. And so my prayers did get answered, not the way I wanted it to , but answered they were.

My Kind, loving, giving sister-in-law visited for a ten day stay. Our funds were low. Embressed in fact, that we really didn't show her the sights of the new state we had moved too. In fact she showered us with dinners out and maybe a visit to a few sights here. It was through her that the answer to my prayers about the dogs would come. Her willingness to give us the funds, in taking care of the two outside dogs . We put them down. Yet we could find any other way to giving those two dogs a life. Shelters wouldn't take them or would even answer a phone. So the days went on, watching them come and go, the ticks and flea's over coming their coats. I having no place to bathe them, or wanting them to , because of the thought of touching them.

So, God gave us the answer to my prayers, even though it wasn't what I wanted

I wish we could get the dogs off to another place, I wish Hank would get off his butt and take them to the animal shelter, I can't stand looking at Maccebba she looks so nasty. and I know she isn't well but we just lay back and let it go on

As my garden grows

As the days come and go ,I take a morning walk to my garden, to see if they have grown more and what is there ,what may have seen a rough night. Walking away proud of my very first garden, on my own, remembering what I was taught by my mother as well as with from my very good friend "Mitch".. whom I helped take care of the one he grew near work and was a member of a gardening club. It seems as though my husband is enjoying the thought of the having one too. Proud we both are, to what our hands and sore backs have put out. It is time will tell how well we will be ,on taking care of our small garden.
In our darkest times. the growth of our small meak garden shows me that we are here, where we were meant to be,. Leaving a job I spent twenty six years at, to coming to where my passion seems to take me. Things will fall into place and that I must keep in mind the mustard seed and those seeds of my garden, since the ground here in Tennessee is ever hard, my hand hurts digging and putting those seeds to garden, and now watching them pushing up from the very hard ground that I layed over them, They have pushed and pushed to make free to the sun and the sky. As hard as our life is and as hard as we try to get above our money problems , I am reminded of the seeds and how hard they too ,had to come. they are here I am here. And with Gods help or the great spirit ,, what ever you call it, my faith will , my hope will , my trust will get up above those things that keep us forever worried. I am so grateful for what I have and where I am going , Thank God and all the Angels that keep me moving forward .

A day in the hills of Tennessee

A day in the hills of Tennessee

Country living

This new life am leading is so different, I wonder at times if I will ever get to where I will be totally comfortable with it. I am learning that out here Dogs are let to roam and thier health is something that you can't keep up on, I have seen neighbors and their dogs just running, visiting where ever they wish to go, or is it to roam. Then there is thier health, how can you keep up on it , they are free to pick up ticks and flea's and anything else that wishes to take a ride on their coat. I have my own dog, one that I raised from a pup, took classes with and up to this far in her life as well as mine, have taken her to see a vet for all most everything, but then there is a change in my wealth , too. I know longer have the money I was making since I have retired from a job that I have worked 26 years of my life. And yet I Love it here, the raising of the morning sun, and then the setting of it. I wish there was more animals in our pasture that would put more of a topper to the country life that I have so pictured. I want the horse in it. watching it graze, the barn being used to house the horse, and riding it into that sun set, this is what I saw in my life, in fact I had hoped for. I am here so why aren't I living it? Money. it comes right down to the cost of this dream and not being able to make that part of it come true, I still hold my faith, I believe God is there supporting me, It just takes time, and I do have that, and so be it. !!!


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